Rebels Without Applause: Escape Velocity
by Red Cell
Summary: Kakashi takes a vacation on a small island nation only to get stuck with a few wannabe ninjas who need some training, and he finds himself caught in a web of secrets a little too late. More interesting than it sounds. Please R n' R.


AUTHOUR'S NOTE: This is my first Naruto fanfic, and my first story I've posted here at fanfiction.net. I will shamefully admit that I don't know everything about the series, so if I make any major errors, please point them out. Consider this story to be taking place fairly early in the series. I'll be very grateful for any opinions (especially in regards to writing style), tips, critiques, suggestions, or even a simple review saying that you took the time to read it.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto created it. Some of the characters are my own, but if they cause any legal problems, I want no part of it, you hear?  
  
Anyways, enjoy.  
  
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Kakashi walked down a thin path through a sparse forest, relishing the surrounding silence and the comforting touch of the open book in his hands. He let out a sigh. His neck and wrists cracked a little as he rotated them out of their stiffness. As he caught a glimpse of the sky in doing so, he couldn't help but continue looking at it, despite his dizziness from having looked away from his book for the first time in hours.  
  
The sun gleamed overhead, with light and shadows playing a spectacular game of tag on the few streaking clouds that decorated the sky. Kakashi smiled, he had chosen a good place for a short vacation – one of the relatively small islands in the sea east of his home village. Since he left the island's small, shabby central town, he hadn't seen or heard any other person, and had taken in a satisfying dose of his beloved book, 'Come Come Paradise'.  
  
He shook off the mild hypnotism induced by the sky, a little surprised that he was actually able to look away from the book he held. He started reading again, entranced, still walking.  
  
He read and walked for a half hour more, his book held close to his face. Kakashi smiled underneath his mask. He had often imagined of being able to read without interruption, but never considered it possible.  
  
He had been having one of the best days of his life. That is, decidedly, until he ran into a wall, knocking a few old pots and pans off of it. The cookware clanged and clattered to the ground. Kakashi tried to navigate past the wall by sidestepping then continuing forward. He nudged against the wall again, irritated.  
  
"Ahh! Robber! Help!" was the shrill cry from a teenage girl, whose cooking was so rudely interrupted by the masked man. She stumbled backwards, away from Kakashi, and then she thudded against a wall and slumped down, covering her face with her arms. "Anders...Rith...help me..." weakly emerged from her quivering lips. Kakashi finally bothered to look up.  
  
"Huh? Oh no, I'm not a thief, I don't want to—"Kakashi stopped his sentence barely in time to block a large knife, its edge geared at his throat. The attacker kept forcing the blade towards his neck, though Kakashi was easily strong enough to hold it in place. Another knife was thrusted at his head from the same direction, and he blocked it further away that time. He was regaining his senses quickly after he was so rudely interrupted from his reading, which, judging by his desperate look, he was so absolutely itching to get back to.  
  
He casually slipped the knives out of the attacker's hands and tossed them out of the window behind him, then grabbed the boy by his wrists, all in one fluid motion. He took a good look at him, and fought the urge to show surprise at the boy's appearance. He must have been no older than sixteen years, yet he was covered with scars, over his face and arms. The old wounds were accented by several long, reddish brown scabs across his chest, which were visible thorough the tears in his ragged tan vest.  
  
Kakashi looked the boy in the eyes, and received an indignant, defiant look in return. Kakashi opened his mouth to say something to clear the confusion so he could leave in peace, but was cut off again, this time by disgust. The boy had spat in his face.  
  
Kakashi put on a decisive look then brought his leg up and swung it towards the boy's midsection. Thinking the boy could use a break, he had the courtesy to not kick nearly as hard as he would have liked to. Before his shin could connect with the boy's rib cage, though, he felt his lower leg become enwrapped between a constricting forearm and upper arm.  
  
"So there's a third kid, then," Kakashi thought before he looked to confirm his assumption.  
  
He was right, there was another boy standing there, holding Kakashi's extended leg. In his free hand, the boy grasped a rusty, thick-bladed dagger. He managed to sneak in something that was probably meant to be interpreted as an intimidating scowl though his grimace.  
  
Kakashi glanced over the ragged pair. Noticing that they wore no symbols from any of the hidden ninja villages, he smiled.  
  
"These kids are pretty decent fighters, especially if they haven't really had any formal training. That kid just came out of nowhere. I wonder just how good they are without being able to control their chakra," he thought. "Let's see what they can do, now that they think they've got me."  
  
He looked into the second boy's angered eyes. He felt the grip on his leg tighten, and the boy brought the knife down and drove it between the bones in Kakashi's knee. It tore, and blood burst forth in a very unwelcome fashion, like the breaking of a dam. Though his arms were still gripped by Kakashi, the first boy grabbed onto Kakashi's wrists and pulled. He slammed his own forehead into Kakashi's nose, feeling it give way, hearing the sick sound of some small bones snapping.  
  
A thin kitchen knife was shoved upwards into Kakashi's side, deep and penetrating, reaching to puncture his heart. Looking over, the boys saw that the girl was holding the knife, still pushing it in.  
  
"That should teach you," she said before her determined expression was masked by a quick puff of smoke from Kakashi's body. She and the second boy felt a lot less weight hanging from their knives.  
  
When the smoke cleared a fraction of a second later, Kakashi was gone.  
  
"He...turned into pieces of wood," the scarred boy, Anders, said, scratching his head with mouth agape in puzzlement.  
  
"I don't think he turned into the wood, he just did that replacement thing Sensei said he'd teach us before he left. It's an interesting jutsu. It's a shame he's gone, I'd have loved to learn it,' added the other boy, Rith, while he pulled the wood off his old dagger, then wiped the blood from it onto his messily blood-stained grey T-shirt.  
  
"Do you really think a burglar would teach us? He didn't even seem keen on letting us keep our cookware, why would he teach us some ancient ninja art?" the girl asked. She had long, unkempt red hair, and defiant blue eyes.  
  
"You knew he was a ninja, but screamed for help? Dammit, Millia, you know that Rith and I would have gladly traded a few measly pots and pans for some real, professional, training. I'm sure he would've traded if we gave him the chance," Anders said, fuming.  
  
"First off, I didn't know he was a ninja. I just hear a big slam and turn around to see some guy with crazy hair and a mask. Excuse me for getting a little frightened. Second, without pots or pans, how do you think we'd eat?"  
  
"We could have talked him down to letting us keep one of the pots. No one is desperate for cookware. Plus, it's not like we have much food to cook in the first place."  
  
"Yeah," Rith added, "and with a new technique to use on the bandits we could turn one in for the bounty, and buy some nice, shiny new pots for you to cook for us in." Rith looked down at the floor, seeing two small, dark puddles of the intruder's blood standing out against the well-lain wooden floor like a grass stains on a child's new, expensive khaki shorts. He looked back up at Millia. "Looks like you have some more cleaning to do, woman." Millia narrowed her eyes.  
  
"I'll just ignore that last part, kid, for your sake. And as for catching bandits, do you really think that technique would be all that useful? Running away?"  
  
"Well, it worked on us, didn't it?"  
  
"Yeah, but he doesn't have us tied up at the jail, he's just gone."  
  
"Maybe. But for all we know, he could be ready to kill us, hiding just over there." Rith pointed randomly beside him at the living room couch. Anders' eyes followed the direction of Rith's finger, right over to Kakashi, who was sitting there, reading.  
  
"Oh crap."  
  
"Huh?" Rith looked over. "All right, he's still here!"  
  
Kakashi looked up from his book at the three, and then looked back down again.  
  
"Yeah," he said, in his usual calm tone, "I was about to tell you guys that I didn't mean any harm, I'm just on vacation and I accidentally wandered into your house, but I was almost at the end of the chapter so I figured I'd just finish up then show myself out." He stood up, nodded, and started walking out.  
  
"Wait. It's wonderful that you don't want to take our stuff and all, but can you please teach us how that jutsu you used works?"  
  
"Nah. I'm on vacation from doing that very thing."  
  
"Aww, come on," Millia said.  
  
Kakashi looked at her with "No," clearly displayed in his expression.  
  
"C'mon."  
  
Kakashi's expression remained.  
  
"...Please? How long could it take?"  
  
"Far too long. Just forget it." Kakashi said as he headed for the door.  
  
"Vacation, eh? You sure have an odd idea of what a vacation spot is. We rarely get willing outsiders," Anders said, disappointed.  
  
Kakashi paused. The idea of a place with such nice weather without any visitors seemed inconceivable.  
  
"Come to think of it," Kakashi thought, "I didn't see any inns or anything of the sort when I was in the main town. I don't have a place to stay at all. And on vacation, I shouldn't be outside, sleeping on the ground or in a tree. I could just go back to my place at Hidden Leaf for the night, but then I'd end up missing the sunrise here. It's probably beautiful, and the weather may not hold up until the morning after."  
  
He turned around and smiled. "Okay, I'll teach you tomorrow, on a few conditions."  
  
Anders, Rith, and Millia clenched their teeth and beamed with joy.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Anything!"  
  
"First, you have to let me sleep here for the night."  
  
"Absolutely, you can have Anders' bed," Millia replied, snickering.  
  
"Agreed," Rith was sure to add.  
  
"What? Dammit." Anders put on a mock expression of utter sadness.  
  
"Don't worry man, the couch isn't so bad. Just try to block out the pain of the cushion springs jabbing you, and the fact that there's a strange man sleeping in your bed." Rith mirrored Millia's snicker.  
  
"Ack. Well, all the more laundry for Millia to do, then, 'cause this deal isn't happening unless I get some clean sheets after a stranger sleeps in my bed."  
  
"Second," Kakashi interrupted, "you have to pass a test. I'm not going to tell you what it is until tomorrow, you just gotta pass it. It usually takes a long time, and pretty much everyone fails it. If you haven't passed by the end of the day, I won't teach you anything."  
  
"That sounds...fair," Rith said, a little worried.  
  
"I hope it's multiple choice. Or even better, one of those True or False ones."  
  
"It's not that kind of test." Kakashi said. "And third, you gotta promise to wake me up at sunrise."  
  
"No problem, Anders will be wide awake, he won't get to sleep on that bed of nails we call 'the couch'."  
  
"Dammit."  
  
"Alright then," Kakashi eyed the pot on the stove, and took in the smell of some spice he'd never encountered before. "Oh, and fourth, ya gotta feed me. What's for dinner?"  
  
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So, there you have it. Don't worry; you'll be seeing a lot more of your favourite characters soon. Also, let me know if you think my new characters seem like 'Mary Sue's, because that is one of the major things I am trying to avoid with them. I will begin work on the next chapter immediately. How am I doing? 


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